Let me entertain you.....

So there's nothing I love more than laughing so hard that I cry. I've done that several times in the last 24 hours thanks to Chelsey Handler and my Seasoned Military Wives gals.  This post may be a little offensive to some, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Chelsey did a little round table story on New Zealand last night which always makes me curious.  It's about the banning of crazy names.  Duke is included in the list which I don't think is that bad, but I guess it's crazier in New Zealand with its royal ties.  In America I just think of a great North Carolina university. Here's the link for you all to look at just incase you were curious.  And then please tell me why you would name your twins Benson and Hedges (which is a cigarette brand)...cute for dogs, not humans.

http://globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/20/new-zealand-bans-weird-baby-names/

Next on the list of things that made me laugh was the addition of some questionable words to the dictionary: sexting, retweeting, cyberbullying and mankini. Hmmmm.....just what exactly is a mankini??? Curious as to what is was, I used the powers of Google Images and discovered THIS:

Don't say I didn't warn you!!  I will spare you the rear view.

Terrible, terrible, terrible.  But it made me laugh.  Hard. I wonder if Jeremy would like it if I photoshopped his face onto one of those men??

 

It's the one on the right!!!!

There are two things that annoy me.  OK, so  many more things than that, but two in particular.

First would be grocery shopping.  I used to love it.  It was a novelty when I first moved to America because everything was so new and different.  So many processed goodies that I had read about in Babysitters Club books, like Twinkies and Mac and Cheese. I was like a kid in a candy store!!

Then along came deployment number one where I no longer had the benefit of having my husband home to cook for me, or eating for free at the DFAC.  I actually had to think about cooking for the first time in years.  Then came deployment number two and baby number two....at Ft Drum where not only did I have to cook for two, plus for a picky baby, but I had to battle going out in the snow, trudging through the snow with a cart and baby car seat and 4 year old, but then getting the groceries through the snow, up the stairs while baby screamed at me.  AKA...TORTURE!!!

Then there was deployment number 3 where I was trying to eat healthier, and baby number 2 now talks non-stop and the children fight.  I have to get the race car carts because trying to keep Mikey under control and push a cart just does not work. I've also been attempting to use coupons which quite frankly annoys me too because of the Extreme Couponers wiping the shelves clear and clogging the aisles.

Seriously, grocery store ettiquette has gone out the window and it is now an unpleasant experience. Maybe it's a more pleasant experience if I am by myself completely with my IPOD playing....and a husband to take the groceries in for me. Yes, I have a plan!

And the Commissary doesn't sell wine. 

Next, is my road rage.  It's out of control.  If you see some lady driving around Fayetteville leaning out the window yelling "MOOOOOVE!!! Put your foot on the pedal and drive!!  It's the one on the right!!!!", while banging on the wheel and raising her hands in hysteria...it's probably me.

I get so aggravated by people who drive in the fast lane, and go slow.  Or drive next to another person at a slow speed so no one can get by.  Or people who brake for the invisible thing on the road.  Or people who can't drive a steady speed.  Or people who can't gently slow down and slam on their brakes.  Or who can't stay in their lane and try to run people off the road.  Or who have no idea what a turn signal is or how to use it.

Fayetteville is full of these people and I have to say they are probably the worst drivers on the planet.  It's a town with classic bad southern style urban planning, and hundreds of people who have no idea where they are going.  You have lots of retirees who should have lost their license years ago, and young folks who think they are invincible.  And not that I EVER want to make light of PTSD, but there are a lot of soldiers who have spent much too much time on convoys in a war zone dodging explosives and either drive slowly, or like a maniac, or who act erratically when hearing the loud booms caused by the bass in the ghetto cars driving by.   And the people are from all over America, and the world and it's as if the NC Road Rules do not apply....or the drivers here don't know in the first place.

Whatever the reasons are behind the bad drivers, I need to find the cure for my road rage, because like the picture above....it makes me feel like exploding!

Update on Mikester

So, I just realized that I never updated anyone on what's going on with Mikey.

We had his second MRI at Cape Fear at the end of last month where he was knocked out using that stuff that killed Michael Jackson.  After our last experience with the MRI, which for the record scarred both of us for life, we were not looking forward to another one.  Mikey had nightmares after the first one and asked me why he had to have one.  I explained about his tics and tried to tell him that we were trying to find out why he has them, and if we could help him.  He promised me he would never do it again (tic I mean) if he didn't have to do the next MRI.  Heartbreaking I tell you especially when you know that he can't stop it.

Anyway, he screamed like a banshee getting the IV put in.  It didn't help that the first vein blew and they had to put a second one in his hand.  A very unhappy Mikey reluctantly watched cartoons while waiting for his turn.  Then a very hysterical Mikey had to be held down on the bed by me and several nurses.  I do believe I have hearing loss in my right ear as a result.  And guess what - when they started pumping the meds into him, his vein blew again, so they had to do a third IV.  Lovely I tell you.  Screaming, scared child equals a very upset mother who was handed kleenex and sobbed hysterically as my (eventually) sleeping child was wheeled into the MRI.  

After sobbing for 30 minutes in the waiting room I was ushered back to find Mikey waking up.  Now, at least this part was remotely funny.  The stuff coming out of his mouth was just hysterical to include him yelling at the kid next to us getting an IV, "Don't let them do it!! It hurts!!!" He remembered nothing about the MRI and couldn't understand how he had gone into the tunnel but couldn't remember it at all.

His results were pretty much normal.  It was noted that he had some kind of blood vessel bleed in his brain, probably when I was still pregnant with him, but that it was unlikely to have damaged him in any way, or be the cause of his tics.  So the Choreathetosis is not likely.

We have seen the Child Neurologist at UNC Chapel Hill.  He's reluctant to call what Mikey has as Tics - I guess what Mikey does makes him somewhat as an enigma.  But he classifies it as some kind of a hyper-kinetic movement disorder.  He doesn't recommend any meds, and because Mikey is so young he could benefit from just learning other ways of working around it.  Like putting his hand on his hips when he's going to shake his hand. He also recommended getting Mikey a scooter to improve coordination and balance, saying that Mikey no longer has an excuse why he can't ride a bike without training wheels.  He just has to get over it.

And the part I liked best was that the Neurologist didn't recommend a diet change.  A lot of kids with Aspergers are put on Gluten Free, Soy Free, Organic yadda yadda yadda diets.  Why it may help some kids who have gastro problems (which is common with Aspergers, but doesn't include Mikey) and those special diets may help them.  He said that with Mikey already having to deal with Aspergers and a movement disorder, by making him different in another social way (eating is a huge social thing) would be cruel.  Can you imagine him being invited to a party and fitting in, and then not being able to eat the food because it's got gluten/sugar/dairy...Yeah, that does seem mean.

But anyway, both kids have been doing swim lessons, and Mikey has improved so much!!  He jumps into the pool now, and can even swim small distances by himself.  I am so proud of him, and he's proud of himself too.  He's earned his water gun, and can play with the other kids more.  And it's given him confidence that he can do things that he didn't think he could do...with a little practice of course!!

The Reality...

You dream of this moment for months before they even deploy.  The moment when they are home again. And I won't lie.  I'm loving it, and I haven't been this happy for a while.  I don't have any schools looming, or anymore deployments for at least a year, so I'm kind of relaxed.  It's nice.  I can kind of get used to letting Jeremy help me, rather than still do everything myself so it won't be such a shock when he does leave.

We can snuggle on the couch and watch TV together, all 4 of us watch the race.  He can watch the kids while I go to the gym and to the Couch to 5K (I'm on Week 3, Day 2 for the record).  We can go to swim lessons with the kids and he witnessed Mikey swimming by himself with no floating device at all. I can go to the store and pick up milk without getting the kids in and out of the car....You get the picture.  It's nice.

But with that comes some negatives. 

I am so used to getting Mia in and out of the car, so when I am by myself I still automatically go to her side of the car first and then feel stupid when I have to walk back around to the drivers seat.

I vacuum the carpet and then he walks on it wearing his boots, and leaves patterns in the carpet.  No biggie - I'm somewhere between a laugh and a grrrr about that one.

I no longer sleep with piles of laundry to keep me company, but the laundry doesn't breathe loudly or snore.

I worked damn hard to clean the house when he came home, but it still got rearranged and cleaned even better when he got home.  Part of me feels insulted like I didn't do a good enough job, but then I have to let that feeling go and know that he's trying to make things better for me and get some sense of control back.

I had a schedule with the kids that would get me through the deployment.  We had our routines and way of doing things, and he hasn't learned them yet or the kids have to learn a somewhat different routine.

For sanity's sake, I would let some things slide sometimes.  Like the dishes.  I would keep the kitchen clean but sometimes I was just damn tired and needed to sit my butt down on the couch and drink a glass of wine, knowing that the dishes could wait until tomorrow.  Not an option now.

And then there's the remote control.  He was kind enough to spare me the torture of political shows this past Sunday but I don't know how long that will last. I should take that time to sit my butt down with a good book and read. (I'm hinting at a Kindle for our anniversary next month - hoping he doesn't have a stomach virus this year). Although, he's dealing with the fact that Chelsey Handler is my reward at the end of a long day, so watching Chelsey Lately going to bed is something truly non-negotiable. Good husband.

And then there's the laundry.  O.M.G!!!  I have a lot with the kids and I as it is, but add in his PJ's, PT uniform, ACU's, Gym clothes, and regular clothes...my laundry baskets are running away scared.  

And last but not least....THE AIR CONDITIONER!!!  I like it set at 75 - where it's not too cold and you can have a fan on and be comfortable.  Mr Eskimo here turned it down to 71 and the rest of us are left shivering under blankets.  I seriously was wearing a sweater and snuggling under a blanket.  He doesn't seem to get it that it actually HURTS me when I am cold.  So we have agreed to 73, and I accidently knock that up a bit from time to time.

I wouldn't give up any of this for the world, and it's a normal part of reintegration which we've been through many times now.  And really I do sit back and chuckle after my initial "grrrr" moment.  Sometimes you do need to reflect and vent from time to time which is fine, and not feel guilty about it. Because at the end of the day I just love my man!

PS. This is one of the first times I can remember since Mia was born 3 years ago, that I have had the house to myself.  The kids went with Daddy to work.  I am all alone.  So in response to my own question: "What do you do when you have the house all to yourself?" I blogged.  And now I am going to turn on the Nikki and Rich station on Pandora Radio, and play mindless hours of Mindjolt Games on Facebook.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

There is no phrase truer than the title of this blog for us.

Jeremy deployed for the second time when Mia was just 5 - 6 months old.  It was very difficult for us when he returned, because she really didn't bond with Jeremy right away as we had expected.  To be honest, it wasn't until he deployed again this time around that she realized that she liked this Daddy person and wanted him back.  Previously she wouldn't let him hold her for long periods of time, and really just wanted to be with me.  Heartbreaking for Jeremy and a pain in the butt for me when I just wanted some alone time or a break.

I know both Jeremy and I were so worried about how she would react to him coming home this time.  She missed him terribly the whole deployment, and honestly thought that he was in every plane or helicopter she saw.  If you saw the previous blog you can see that our worries were quickly erased as she couldn't get to her Daddy fast enough.  

And she really hasn't left his side since.  She LOVES her Daddy now and follows him around like a little lamb.  She was not impressed when she woke up and Daddy was away at PT this morning, but I think now she is understanding that if Daddy leaves he will come back.

Finally my husband and daughter have the bond that we always dreamed of, and I couldn't be happier. It's a beautiful thing to witness.  The look on Jeremy's face as she kisses and hugs him is almost as precious to me as the first time he saw her after she was born.

Yippee!!!!

 So I lied to my children.   In order to get them all dressed up I told them that my friend Kathryn was flying in to take pictures of them to send to Daddy.  This lie seemed to do the trick.  Not that I am condoning lying to children or in general, but for surprise purposes this one was pretty acceptable in my opinion.

So the kids were patiently waiting on "Kathryn" even after the plane was delayed several hours because of weather.  Until Mikey yelled "Daddy?  Daddy!!!"  Mia saw him and both kids just RAN.  I would say they were surprised in the best way possible.

One family almost spilled the beans, but realized what I was doing and patiently waited to see the reunion, and cried when they saw the kids see their Daddy.  And then offered to take a family picture of us too.  I am so grateful for this family and I hope they enjoy the same joy in a few months that we just experienced.

Needless to say we're all so happy, and I am so grateful to his Command for bringing him home.  We're very blessed.