The Reality...

You dream of this moment for months before they even deploy.  The moment when they are home again. And I won't lie.  I'm loving it, and I haven't been this happy for a while.  I don't have any schools looming, or anymore deployments for at least a year, so I'm kind of relaxed.  It's nice.  I can kind of get used to letting Jeremy help me, rather than still do everything myself so it won't be such a shock when he does leave.

We can snuggle on the couch and watch TV together, all 4 of us watch the race.  He can watch the kids while I go to the gym and to the Couch to 5K (I'm on Week 3, Day 2 for the record).  We can go to swim lessons with the kids and he witnessed Mikey swimming by himself with no floating device at all. I can go to the store and pick up milk without getting the kids in and out of the car....You get the picture.  It's nice.

But with that comes some negatives. 

I am so used to getting Mia in and out of the car, so when I am by myself I still automatically go to her side of the car first and then feel stupid when I have to walk back around to the drivers seat.

I vacuum the carpet and then he walks on it wearing his boots, and leaves patterns in the carpet.  No biggie - I'm somewhere between a laugh and a grrrr about that one.

I no longer sleep with piles of laundry to keep me company, but the laundry doesn't breathe loudly or snore.

I worked damn hard to clean the house when he came home, but it still got rearranged and cleaned even better when he got home.  Part of me feels insulted like I didn't do a good enough job, but then I have to let that feeling go and know that he's trying to make things better for me and get some sense of control back.

I had a schedule with the kids that would get me through the deployment.  We had our routines and way of doing things, and he hasn't learned them yet or the kids have to learn a somewhat different routine.

For sanity's sake, I would let some things slide sometimes.  Like the dishes.  I would keep the kitchen clean but sometimes I was just damn tired and needed to sit my butt down on the couch and drink a glass of wine, knowing that the dishes could wait until tomorrow.  Not an option now.

And then there's the remote control.  He was kind enough to spare me the torture of political shows this past Sunday but I don't know how long that will last. I should take that time to sit my butt down with a good book and read. (I'm hinting at a Kindle for our anniversary next month - hoping he doesn't have a stomach virus this year). Although, he's dealing with the fact that Chelsey Handler is my reward at the end of a long day, so watching Chelsey Lately going to bed is something truly non-negotiable. Good husband.

And then there's the laundry.  O.M.G!!!  I have a lot with the kids and I as it is, but add in his PJ's, PT uniform, ACU's, Gym clothes, and regular clothes...my laundry baskets are running away scared.  

And last but not least....THE AIR CONDITIONER!!!  I like it set at 75 - where it's not too cold and you can have a fan on and be comfortable.  Mr Eskimo here turned it down to 71 and the rest of us are left shivering under blankets.  I seriously was wearing a sweater and snuggling under a blanket.  He doesn't seem to get it that it actually HURTS me when I am cold.  So we have agreed to 73, and I accidently knock that up a bit from time to time.

I wouldn't give up any of this for the world, and it's a normal part of reintegration which we've been through many times now.  And really I do sit back and chuckle after my initial "grrrr" moment.  Sometimes you do need to reflect and vent from time to time which is fine, and not feel guilty about it. Because at the end of the day I just love my man!

PS. This is one of the first times I can remember since Mia was born 3 years ago, that I have had the house to myself.  The kids went with Daddy to work.  I am all alone.  So in response to my own question: "What do you do when you have the house all to yourself?" I blogged.  And now I am going to turn on the Nikki and Rich station on Pandora Radio, and play mindless hours of Mindjolt Games on Facebook.